But the basic script isn’t that difficult: respect our identities and our bodily autonomy, and when you’re not sure, find a gentle way to ask that doesn’t put anybody on the spot.
(And if it’s just not your business to know something in the first place, then .) Another good idea is to understand that many trans people (including a number of trans-feminists) have come up with language to describe the cissexist world they see around them, and to challenge society to do better. Sadly, a small group of aggressive anti-trans activists have gone far out of their way to introduce a lot of confusion about words like “cis,” claiming that it has some type of anti-woman meaning.
Not to mention that this results in some probably well-intentioned cis women missing out on connecting with lots of beautiful, amazing trans women.
So with that in mind, I have put together some suggestions for cis women on thinking through some basic trans issues, including ideas on approaching trans women in a romantic or intimate context.
This is completely false (and it makes no sense considering the word describes cis men just as it does cis women).
The word “cis” means “not trans” and it has no other meaning in this context.
Please adopt this language, even when trans people are not around.
I also want to be clear that the following represents only my own perspectives; I don’t speak for all trans women. But the fact is that there are still parties held in some places in which admittance is “women OR trans” only, meaning in this case that one should be either woman or trans, but not both.
One of the awesome things about the queer women’s communities is that I think we tend to be much more open about possibilities for intimate relationships.
Some women are poly, some are looking for an exclusive partnership, and there’s everything in between.
Remember ladies; you can’t buy into hateful language specifically directed against trans women without chipping in on hatred against women in general.
There are lots of wonderful, workable approaches to relationships out there, and different things work for different people.