Re entering the dating world
OKCupid, for example, is structured more heavily towards casual dating and hooking up.Match.com, on the other hand, leans towards more conventional relationships while e Harmony is specifically marketed towards (straight) people who are looking to get married ASAP while Plenty of Fish is the dating equivalent of a long weekend in Innsmouth.At the same time, you’re less likely to have success when dealing with dating/hook-up apps like Grindr or Tinder. Speaking of the offline dating mindset: you’re going to have to accept that online dating is even more of a numbers game than dating in IRL or meatspace or whatever the cool kids are calling “the world” these days.This means sending out more cold e-mails, dealing with more rejections and more dates that go nowhere. It’s part of the price of entry, and it’s better that adjust your expectations accordingly instead of dealing with the slow burn of “WHY WON’T THE MAGICAL BOX PROVIDE ME WITH SEX?” Remember what I said earlier about how we mentally filter people into “attractive” and “not attractive” when we meet them in person?
All of this subconscious presentation and filtering is lost in online dating; all we have are our words and our photos, so we have to consider how to craft as attractive a snapshot of ourselves as possible.
To start with, you have to rethink the way that you present yourself.
Studies show that between 75% to 93% of communication is non-verbal.
We can get as righteous as we’d like about “getting to know somebody’s soul” or the purity of meeting people without our hangups about looks, but without that physical component, it’s impossible to guarantee that you’re going to be attracted to somebody in person.
This is why so many people get first dates that go nowhere; you may have had great intellectual or , it just wasn’t going to work. And that’s where the benefit of the numbers game comes in.