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Brooks believes it will require a return to humanism, religion, and the humanities, “the great instructors of enchantment.” Countering algorithmic fixation requires a re-education of the American populace—teaching people how to see and prize the philosophical, spiritual, intellectual, and thus immeasurable characteristics that cannot be removed from our pursuit of love.
But a short-term answer to the algorithm dilemma can also be found in urging people to stop putting so much weight on numbers, studies, and quizzes. You should have friends, because friendship is good, in and of itself, regardless of its personal repercussions.
When we first studied online dating habits in 2005, most Americans had little exposure to online dating or to the people who used it, and they tended to view it as a subpar way of meeting people.
Today, nearly half of the public knows someone who uses online dating or who has met a spouse or partner via online dating – and attitudes toward online dating have grown progressively more positive.
Quantification can destroy our very for the unique: seeking love through an algorithm necessitates that we look for some sort of golden mean, some perfect conglomeration of ideal attributes.
Thus, we do not see Andrew or Carl—we see Andrew, the 70 percent match, or Carl, the 94 percent match.
The share of 18- to 24-year-olds who use online dating has roughly tripled from 10% in 2013 to 27% today.
But we need mystery for true relational intimacy—because it is through the sharing of our deeper selves that we grow in love and devotion.
Today, 12% of 55- to 64-year-olds report ever using an online dating site or mobile dating app versus only 6% in 2013.
One factor behind the substantial growth among younger adults is their use of mobile dating apps.
Even those of us who would never use online dating sites will still often Facebook-stalk someone before a date.
We take the Meyers-Briggs personality test and various strengths-finder quizzes in order to determine whether we’ve picked the right job.