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I'm a strong person because you raised me that way. Because you can't take responsibility for your actions. I have to get on with my life and if that means living without a relationship with you, because you can't tell me what happened.

But what I didn't know was the story of what happened from the day she left. You're telling me that I imagined you not being there? When she came back I tried to have a relationship with her. I wanted write about how I laughed at some of the funny stuff I read in the comments... how this blog had been my medicine and I'm glad I had it. I wanted to write about how everything was going well for me, and now this. From: Some Chick Date: 1/30/06Everything is good, I keep having to pee cause I'm drinking all this water. Love Bastard Date: 1/30/06Morning u lil blueberry muffin. I was just thinking about you about an hour ago, I had something to tell you, but now I forget what it was. or Irish or English or French...- hahahaha), dated many Bastards, made up with my brother which just brought more drama into my life, haven't spoken to my mom (you know how that is), fell in love only to realize it was lust, but more importantly I found a better me. I prepared myself to hear that my grandmother had passed away. We lean over toilets and purge the pain like other women. From: Some Chick Date: 1/19/06Doing very well, thank you? Yes, the time is right to bring back The Mad Dater. And then I thought, "What if something happened to my brother? So I called my voicemail and it was my mother, "Something happened to your brother. We stand in the mirror and find all the little things we hate about ourselves to bear witness to the pain that we feel inside like every other woman. The Best Of The Mad Dater: Girls Like you Don't Get Married Bastards I Won't be Dating The Threesome That Never Was Player Pie- A Dating Recipe Dear Condom Manufacturers The Bastard I'll Always Love - Hip Hop Break Up Stages Seinfeld's "The Thing" Bastard Affective Disorder November Sweeps The Oh No You Did Not Girls The Punisher Bastard Fiction: The Original Bastard The More Introspective Mad Dater Still Missing My Dad The Night My Mother Disappeared Now My Brother & I Don't Speak My Mother Was a Cheater My Dad's Funeral Was a Joke The Introspective Mad Dater ... ) and have since planted a Mad Dater Flag on many countries (I like'em brown, yellow, Puerto Rican or Hatian... I can't say that I am anything else but angry right now. I procrastinated, and just when I decided that it was time to take a nap before working my mother calls at 4AM. Behind our tough girl act is still a girl who wants to be loved and cherished and told how beautiful she is like every other girl. Love Bastard Date: 1/20/06Afternoon sexual chocolate. But damn, April Fool's Day is the perfect day to bring back this blog, no? I moved to the land of No Black Men aka San Francisco (what up with that? God will forgive me even if you don't..."My mother has called me 5, maybe 6 times since my dad passed away. But when your mom calls you at 4AM you figure it can be only one thing, bad news. Come spring my thighs will thank Don't think that behind our tough girl image we aren't still girls. Do you think we don't need your shoulders to cry on... Behind the woman drinking shots with you, behind the woman paying for your lap dance at the strip club, behind the woman talking shit to you while beating your ass at poker is a woman who is just as vunerable as the next chick.

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