Interviews with dating gurus neil strauss
I put it in my back pocket, and I never look at it again.I let the conversation take its course, but I know where to direct it, where to guide it, you know, where the flow is.At the end of the conversation, Neil gives one suggestion for one thing you can do if your ever as nervous as I was in a conversation.When I do it, pay attention to my voice and tell me if you think it works. I’ll just say, here’s the program, and I’ll start you off with the first question that I asked Neil Strauss in my phone call interview with him. Neil, your next book is “Everyone Loves You When You’re Dead.” What’s the book about?And it’s the same thing, if you walk into an interview, whether it’s with a celebrity or again with an executive, you’re trying to pretend like you’re an equal when you’re not. It seems phony, it seems insincere, it seems try hard.So, I usually walk in and I’m almost tiptoeing gingerly around that world of allowing them to get comfortable with you. If you just throw them together in a box, they’re going to start fighting.So, you know, the one thing that I do with every interview is, and again I would recommend this for kind of any situation, is I sit there before I’m going into a situation. Before I go to the interview till the last second, I’m studying those questions, every single question.
Each with sort of like either a lesson about life or about rapport or about breaking through someone’s facade and inside.
And to draw the parallel, in “The Game,” for example why was it easier for me, like a five foot six scrawny guy to approach a woman than for like some like guy who looked like a quarterback or something like that?
The truth was I could come in non-threatening, and then give them time to know my personality.
You know, you can, and that’s a scary thing for them, because that’s losing control over their image when they give that power to somebody else. So with her, it was showing that you genuinely cared about her and her music and were not someone who’s just kind of coming in to exploit her or take advantage of her.
I think with these people on this level, and it’s true in business as well as in pop and fame, is they’re so used to getting used and they also all feel misunderstood and like no one really knows them on some level.