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With comments such as “She is so wonderful, and it means so much to me to have your blessing with her.” What is this all about?Clearly mature, decent adults And why do narcissists after months or years – even if you don’t respond in any shape or form – still “throw a line” to “test the waters” to see if you’ll “take the bait?The previously “totally remorseful” narcissist will switch to, “Who do you think you are for trying to have power and get the upper hand? Once the cycle of violence has erupted, pulling away and then returning means the cruelty will escalate to unthinkable levels.I myself have experienced the return bouts as horrendous; they happened more and more frequently and violently.
The answer, truly, is simply because narcissists are empty voids.
You see, abusers who are narcissist don’t learn by their mistakes.
They are not genuinely remorseful, and therefore not accountable or capable of real change.
Naturally, the understandable human model before self-recovery is to hope (despite the repeated evidence) that this person has finally “got it” and will stop the atrocious behaviour.
It’s also “normal” when not receiving a genuine “sorry” to be incensed, fight for accountability, and / or try to force this person into being the person you thought you had signed up for (if a love-partner), or be the family member / parent they by normal humane standards. There is a period of CALM, then TENSION builds, then ABUSE happens, and then RECONCILIATION takes place …