Deal with intimidating people

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Note: NLP Submodality Techniques such as this one and the Swish technique mentioned above are best used when the situation does not require practical action; when the issue is about how you think rather than how you should to be handling the situation.

As an example, if the person that you find intimidating is a colleague who is actually behaving in an intimidating or bullying manner this requires practical action rather than simply changing your thinking.

And some people are amazing visualisers – they can close their eyes and see things in sharp, colourful, 3D.

The rest of us see images which are vague and unclear and which probably fade or dim as you ‘look’ at them. If you’re not a ‘clear visualiser’ you may simply need to repeat the technique a few times and on a few days.

What stories are you telling yourself about this person? You may find that underneath their scary exterior, there’s a person. Recognize your similarities rather than focusing on your perceived differences.

If this doesn’t have the desired effect then it’s time to escalate the process and use a more powerful technique such as the Swish – or to look more deeply into your relationship with the person.

(See note at the end of this article on the Swish Technique)This will probably work best if you begin by relaxing for a minute or so and closing your eyes: Sometimes it helps to first imagine them even further above eye level and then move them lower.

Or imagine having the image shoot off into the distance and then bounced back again but to a new location well below eye level.

And, is there a pattern in the type of people who intimidate you?

Is it their overall demeanor, personality, approach, tone, title, position, education level, financial status, viewpoint, or something else?

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