Dating and commitment
“If someone avoid the topics of commitment or exclusivity like the plague, it’s probably a sign that he doesn’t see any longer-term future with you,” says Rabbi Shlomo Zalman Bregman, a matchmaker and author.
And even if he’s not ready to make things official right this second, “if your guy takes you seriously, he will realize this is a reasonable human expectation and be open to talking about it, and want to address your feelings.” Notice him pulling away physically?
This is almost a sure sign that his intentions for this relationship will remain in the realm of the casual and superficial,” Bregman notes.
If he changes the subject, gets very quiet, or gets defensive when you talk about your friends’ engagements and weddings, this indicates he might not ever be comfortable with the idea of committing in this way, Coleman says.
In many cases, your instincts will provide the answer about whether or not he’s invested.
“At the end of the day, people will go after what they really want,” says Sassoon. If he’s always making major plans with other people and not inviting you, it shows you where his is priorities are.” If there are big chunks of time that go unaccounted for and then he miraculously resurfaces, that’s a pretty clear sign something is up.
If you discover that a guy you’re seeing hasn’t had any major relationships and is over the age of 40, it’s reasonably safe to say he may have a commitment issue.
Plus, “most men don’t leave their partners for another woman, and if they do, then how can you be certain that you won’t be given the same treatment if and when he tires of you?
” Of course, it’s not guaranteed to happen, but history does have a way of repeating itself.
If he never ever says “us” or “we” and sticks with “me, myself, and I,” that’s a pretty significant heads up that he still thinks himself as a solo agent.
“If a guy doesn’t use words that indicate that he thinks of the two of you as a couple, you can see this as a big, red flag that he is commitment-phobic,” says Cindi Sansone-Braff, a relationship coach and author.