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The real source of my anguish was my divorce, so either it would have been this one painful affair or a series of short meaningless flings, but the outcome would have been the same. After an agonizing eight-hour long anxiety attack and three days of very little sleep, I finally bottomed out, and then I got into therapy.I briefly went on antidepressants and little by little, month by month, the horrible twisted vice of depression released its grip and I began to have my mind back.It took nearly two years from the day I left my marriage to finally feel like myself again.
I knew it was a dangerous situation and I avoided getting involved at first. And he seemed just as excited as I was; it felt like the ideal love affair. I was deeply depressed, a depression that is almost too difficult to describe now.
I tried to start another relationship only to have that blow up in my face almost the exact same way. Eventually I convinced myself that it didn't matter.
I would never know that alternate reality and life doesn't work with a reset button.
He even remembered the moment we first met years earlier, which was fuzzy to me, but he could recall it in startling detail.
And he resembled a taller, younger version of my husband. But it happened, the universe finally put us together, and for a brief period in my life it was pure magic.