Commitment issues dating relationship
Professor of Family Life University of Arkansas Cooperative Extension Service Box 391, Little Rock, AR 72203 Phone: 501.671-2104 Fax: 501.671-2294 [email protected] to the relationship is related to the quality of the relationship.
Professionals will have to work to build an understanding among adult learners that relationship work is like other work: it requires resolve, understanding, acceptance, and a willingness to be creative.
When they do offer you a commitment, even if it’s just a dinner, be appreciate of it.
Know that you’re dealing with someone who has issues, and you have to be mindful of them or leave and find someone who loves commitment.” If your commitment-phobe boyfriend or girlfriend only hangs out when it’s convenient for them and never seems to initiate dates, Ray suggests backing off a bit.
“Many commitment-phobes are phobic about commitments based on negative past experiences or having been badly burned in the past from an ex,” says Ray.
(See Clements and Swensen 2000.) David and Vera Mace (1991), pioneers in the Marriage Movement, ranked commitment as fundamental to relationships.
It makes sense that people who commit themselves to a relationship are more likely to find rewards than those who invest sporadically or half-heartedly.
“Doing things without your CP partner shows them that they aren’t walking into a point of no return [when committing to you].
A real phobe needs to know that the walls aren’t closing in on them,” says Metselaar.