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Because I've been an observer but not sexually active online for the past few years, I called up Kirk (not his real name), an administrator in an adults-only webcam community.We had a private webcam conversation that confirmed what I already knew: Nothing but the tech has changed since my days as Aphrodite."You'll see a lot of cams up, lots of women playing, a little free-for-all.And then you go through a lull when someone leaves, or the woman who is the focus of the most attention will leave, and everyone else starts to cam off and leave too."Kirk can't believe how many men – still – expect instant gratification."It's good to see people who are actually attracted to each other and not having sex for money," he says.

The draw now is the community itself, the relationships he has formed over time."I like coming home and chatting with people," he says.

And just so you know, these women aren't saying "I'd rather see your face" to avoid hurting his feelings. But even those of us who delight in dicks want to see your facial expressions, too.

Throughout our interview, I notice that he often uses the word "play" to describe what people do while in the room.

"When they start playing, when you see actual sex, that's when it's the best.

Much better than porno movies because it's real people. They look like everybody else, with all their flaws and imperfections."He shrugs.

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